David Copperfield is a complicated man

It is believed the FBI is investigating David Copperfield because he designed part of his act to be a complicated system of picking up women. One of whom is a Seattle woman accusing him of raping her in the Bahamas.

Sources now tell TMZ Copperfield designed part of his show around “a system for picking up women.” During his show, David goes into the audience and chooses women to come on stage. We’re told that if David likes a girl, he’ll use code words with assistants like “mama” and “secrecy.” The assistants mark the women on a map of the inside of the Hollywood Theater at MGM Grand. After the show, the women are brought backstage — and that’s where the profiling begins.

The women are told that David may use them in his show when he comes to their hometown. They are then photographed with a digital camera, asked questions like, “What is your favorite men’s cologne?” and “Where do you like to vacation?” We’re told one of those vacation spots mentioned by staff is the Bahamas, where the accuser claims she was assaulted. Copperfield owns a cluster of islands in the Bahamas — which he bought for $50 million.

David’s dates are basically three act shows. The first act is introduction, the second act is seduction and the third act is forceful penetration. You’d think it would be easier just to buy a gun and skip to the third act, but no, if you’re David, you have to make it into an elaborate production. He’s like the guy from The Prestige except, instead of filling you with wonder and amazement, he fills you with his semen.

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Capt. Cornhole
Capt. Cornhole
16 years ago

I’d let this little freak play hide the sausage w/ me.

16 years ago

surely, this goober has more skills than this right? he did nab claudia schiffer after all. when claudia was in her prime no less.