Jennifer Lopez is probably pregnant

Jennifer Lopez

During a recent concert, a fan kept blowing under Jennifer Lopez’s dress, revealing her baby bump. Now, Page Six says Jennifer Lopez is set to announce her pregnancy in her hometown at Saturday’s concert at Madison Square Garden. Scientists around the world are said to be on the edge of their seats, eager to discover if interspecies breeding is a viable option.

A spy at her concert in Connecticut Wednesday night told us, “a fan blew the side of her top all the way up for a moment, and a definitive baby bump was there. She was very quick to push down her top. Then she talked about how this year is full of firsts for her . . . and every so often her dress would fly up and you would see her belly.”

Does this mean Scientology works? My God, I never thought this day would come. The crazy Tom Cruise religion has been vindicated. Quick, fashion me a hat made of tinfoil ASAP and spare no expense on the tinfoil.

Jennifer Lopez in concertJennifer Lopez in concertJennifer Lopez in concertJennifer Lopez in concertJennifer Lopez in concert

  • Bill Surman

    Trump has dispatched 140 helicopters, 28 ships, 6 Army field hospitals, 3 Navy seabee battalions, 5 US Army Combat Engineer battalions, 3 Civil affairs battalions, 2 nuclear subs capable of generating 2.8 gigawatts of electricity, given 300,000 tons of food, medical supplies and water from military stocks to Puerto Rico. But yea, boo Trump. SMH, Fucking losers.

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