Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz to birth two douchebags

E! Online’s Marc Malkin is reporting that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are expecting twins. However, Tyga may be parroting a rumor Pete started during a radio interview.

“They’re having twins,” Tyga said in an exclusive interview yesterday at the House of Hype’s pre-VMA barbecue. “They’re really happy.”

A rep for the couple insists only one baby is on the way. “It is not true,” the rep said of Tyga’s twins report.

Who cares how many babies Pete Wentz is having. One, two, five. It doesn’t matter. They’re all doomed to the same fate. To be taunted through preschool, middle school and high school. There’s that old saying, safety in numbers, but that’s only assuming their only form of protection isn’t SPF 55. I’m pretty sure if you even looked at Pete’s kids funny, they’d try to run away and end up slamming their face into a brick wall.

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