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Police fear The Jonas Brothers

The Jonas Brothers in Mexico City

On the surface, the Jonas Brothers may seem like three mincing gaywads, but look past those innocuous grins and there lies an evil, lecherous monster. At least that’s what it seems like to the police. People reports that the NYPD’s worst fears have come true. The Jonas Brothers are performing on NYE in Times Square. Ahhhh!

The New York Police Department – which has heroically handled terrorist attacks, blackouts and riots without a whimper – is being cautious over the “mob scene” that could result when the Jonas Brothers perform in Times Square at Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest on Wednesday night.

“So they’re now planning on using extra [security] men for support,” the source says. “It’s going to be crazy because everyone will be in Times Square to watch them perform on the show.”

How hard can it be to handle a mob of 14-year-old teeny boppers. All you have to do is get on the megaphone and tell them that a friend of a friend said Twilight star Robert Pattinson might be in the opposite direction. And while their brain is trying to figure out what to do, The Jonas Brothers in the hand or Robert Pattinson in the bush, the NYPD can fire rubber bullets into the crowd.

[The Jonas Brothers in Mexico. Image via Splash News]

  • Perez Hilton’s mother was born with a dick. I am calling them both faggots and GLAAD can kiss my ass as they’re militant bugchasers. Bitch when someone calls a shemale an it as they are politically correct pussies who take the fun out of Conservatives who use the power insults. I am not apologizing for using the word faggot or shemale because shims are not true males or females (as in male-to-female tranny are still fucking male. They turn straight men into faggots. A female-to-male tranny can still get knocked up like a biological female. Homosexuality and lesbianism along with transsexuals are fucking disgusting to me. As a straight man and a Christian I need to speak out against the goddamn perversion known as marriage blasphemy aka fag “marriage.”)

    • Mary SanGiovanni

      Ahhh, Nicky. Still a disgusting piece of mentally aberrant scraped-off genetic waste, I see.

    • BrianKeene

      Dear Hurricane Irma. Please visit Nicky in Florida. Thanks! The Internet

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