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Fergie works out every day

Fergie does NYE

Having gained weight for her upcoming role in Nine, she plays a prostitute, evidently a fat one, Fergie has sworn to slim down before her wedding on Jan. 10. At her NYE concert in Vegas at The Venetian, Fergie said she has been “working out every day.” Her routine?

“A lot of hiking and doing a bunch of sit-ups, working my butt off and just, you know, try to maintain and stay healthy.”

Fergie’s body isn’t the issue here. It’s that other thing. Her face. She should work more on that. Sure, her imitation of the Leprechaun is impeccable, but that’s not going to win her any beauty pageants. Maybe she can get a transplant of some sort. Perhaps, sew Heidi Klum’s face onto hers? I’d still ask her to put a bag over her head because of the unsightly scars and unseemly bleeding, but it’d be a marked improvement.

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AND THAT!!!! Is what doggie-style is for. You don’t have to look at her face, with the added benefit that if she’s talking too much you can stick it in her pooper.

At that point she’ll be too busy pillow-biting to keep talking.

When your done you can clean yourself off in her hair, toss a $20 on the bed before leave, then grab some take-out on the way home.

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