Pity through press release?

Hulk and Linda Hogan’s latest court appearance on Thursday was to determine whether Hulk had to pay for his ex-wife’s gardeners. Linda Hogan’s rep sent out a press release proudly informing everyone that the judge ordered Hogan to pay up, but that Linda still exited the hearing in tears.

The release goes on to accuse Hulk Hogan of being “obsessed with gathering information on [Linda]” and has interrogated neighbors, friends and family members leaving Linda with no privacy at all. Hulk is also allegedly hiding assets that he doesn’t want split in the divorce. They basically say Hulk this is all part of Hulk’s master plan to break Linda. From the release:

Hulk originally stated this should be a simple divorce of splitting the assets 50/50 since there are no custody issues. Linda’s attorneys have spent countless hours and resources trying to uncover hidden assets that Hulk doesn’t want split. Between Hulk’s BFF, a local DJ on the air reporting on her daily whereabouts and activities, coupled with his ongoing grilling of the neighbors, the caretakers for information, LINDA HAS NO PRIVACY.

Hulk’s strategy of resolving this simple divorce is to batter Linda emotionally with defaults of payment that cause court hearings like Thursday’s. Hulk is no stranger to this kind of emotional battery since this is just like his 1995 Kate Kennedy sexual battery case where he could have be charged with sexual battery, instead, he threatened to use “Linda’s rights to sue Kennedy” as a ploy to have the case turned around into an extortion case.

Poor Linda. If things don’t go her way, she might be left with $1 million which, if you think about it, is only $50 in celebrity currency. My god, what if she was forced to get a job. She’d have to make appearances at second rate events for around $50,000 a pop. Gasp! Oh, the humiliation. What will her boyfriend think? I mean, once his balls have dropped and he’s old enough to understand what’s going on?

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