Tiger Woods has had enough, moving

Because the day isn’t complete without a Tiger Woods story, the latest news is Tiger might leave the US. Possibly to a private island close to Sweden. Which is exactly what I do when I want to get away. Except my island is made out of plastic bottles tied together. An insider says they want to get away from it all and that they want to be together for the kids’ sake.

Elin might want to think twice about that. Most of Tiger’s mistresses have been blonde. It may not be the best idea to move next to a country full of them. That’s like Lindsay deciding to take a break by staying at the house of a Colombian drug lord.

In related news, the Tiger mistress count is at 11. In order, these include: Rachel Uchitel, Jamie Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Cori Rist, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Holly Sampson, Unidentified Mistress #8, Unidentified Mistress #9, Unidentified Mistress #10 and porn star Josyln James. One more and he’ll have one for each month of the year.

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Insider says ‘they want to be together for the kids sake”? Obviously a lawyer or PR trial balloon. No woman could possibly be stupid or crazy enough to possibly imagine Tiger is capable or worthy of a good marriage relationship. I submit Tiger is not capable of or worthy of even a bad marriage relationship. Surely Elin is neither stupid or crazy and has already utterly rejected such nonsense.

Michael Simons
Michael Simons

The only reason she would consider sticking around is because the pre-nup was too iron clad for her to go after Tiger for 1/2, so by sticking around the extra years, she can at least taking a good chunk of his money. Plus, if she locks him up on a private island off Sweden, he can’t screw anymore women.


This story smells worse than something rotten in Denmark. Don’t be stupid. Tiger secluded on an island so he can’t scre anymore women. He’d find a way. The guy has no shame–thinks his money can buy him anything. The real truth of the matter is: if he was a shift supervisor at McDonalds none of these women would have had anything to do with him.

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