The two great things about the fake Heidi Klum now in Madame Tussaud’s in Berlin: she doesn’t age and she doesn’t talk back. The two bad things about Heidi’s new wax figure: that creepy smile is always there and her hands are always at her hips. It makes having sex with her really confusing. Does that smile mean she likes what I’m doing or are the hands on her hips a sign of dissatisfaction? I’m getting a lot of mixed signals here.