Kyra Sedgwick appeared on David Letterman last week and talked about this one time she pressed a mysterious button at Tom Cruise’s house. Surprisingly, a bunch of dildos and a chained up Thai boy didn’t shoot out of the wall. Instead,
“I saw this little button and it wasn’t attached to anything. It didn’t have a sign or anything… and so I pressed it. I don’t know why but I did, and nothing happened.
“I got scared. So I kind of raised my hand and I said, ‘Excuse me… I just pressed that button!’ And Tom said, ‘That button?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ And he goes, ‘Why?’ And I said, ‘I don’t know!’
“Long story short, it was the panic button. Within 10 minutes the entire Beverly Hills police department was there, and they wouldn’t leave until they actually saw Tom there.”
It must be nice being a celebrity and having the entire LA police force working for you. I think if I ever called the police, they’d take an hour to get to me and even if I’m unconscious lying in a puddle of my own blood, they’d still ask in an annoyed voice, “What seems to be the problem, sir?”
[Bauer]
Of course he has a button like that. All celebrities should. They are clearly more important than us little people. Without them, I would have no where to type my comments and The Blemish wouldn’t exist.
All hail celebrity, our new god.