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Jesse James and Kat Von D are Engaged

Jesse James used to have a good thing going with Sandra Bullock but he chose to torpedo that relationship by cheating on her with multiple women including a tattooed hussy named Bombshell McGee. Sorry, every time I read that name I think of Mr. Magoo so excuse my giggling. Anyway, he dumped them and went to a slightly more famous tattooed idiot, Kat Von D. Now they’re getting married. Take it away, PEOPLE:

“You know sometimes the public and press gets it wrong. This is one of those times. 2010 was actually the best year of my life because I fell in love with my best friend. An amazing woman who stood behind me when the world turned their backs,” James tells PEOPLE exclusively. “I have never met anyone so kind and loving and committed to making the world a better place every day. My love for her is beyond description. So honored that she said ‘yes.’ Growing old with her is going to be a f—-n’ blast!”

“Stood behind me when the world turned their backs.” What a dick. This guy repeatedly cheated on his wife while she was out working and adopting babies and now he’s the victim. Oh boo hoo. I’m sure the world sympathizes with you, Jesse James. You were undeserving of all the criticism. It’s like people turned on you for no reason at all.

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Chewy

Divorced in 5.

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>>Divorced in 5.

5 what, minutes?

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