Mariah Carey Expecting a Boy and a Girl

Mariah Carey looks huge right now. Like a bike pump was attached to her and it never stopped infusing her with air. Luckily for her, this isn’t because there’s a 15 pound baby growing inside of her, biding its time until it can tear through her uterus like a rabid wolverine. No, it’s because she’s having twins! One boy and one girl.

Mariah tells Life & Style, “Even before we announced it was twins, I was trying to keep everything genderneutral because I didn’t want to impose an identity on them too soon. There were fan contests on Twitter about what gender they are and rumors about them being two boys or two girls — but nobody guessed this!”

*Twirls finger in air* Wow. Exciting. I’m just waiting until I get to see Nick being used as a baby-mule. Not only will he carry Mariah’s umbrella, he’ll have one baby strapped to his back with another strapped to his chest. He’ll look like an adorable suicide bomber.