Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Steven Spielberg is directing an Abraham Lincoln biopic titled Lincoln starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Daniel Day-Lewis and Tommy Lee Jones. A seemingly solid film but that Abe Lincoln is boring as sh*t compared to Tim Burton’s. That’s because Tim Burton’s Abe Lincoln did something much more awesome. He hunted vampires. Topical!

IGN just released two posters for Burton’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter starring Benjamin Walker and Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Marry Todd Lincoln. Judging by the summary, this film will be historically accurate.

“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter explores the secret life of our greatest President, and the untold story that shaped our nation. Visionary filmmakers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov (director of Wanted) bring a fresh and visceral voice to the blood-thirsty lore of the vampire, imagining Lincoln as history’s greatest hunter of the undead.”

Of course. That’s why Abe always wore that top hat. It was to carry all his vampire hunting tools. It all makes sense now.