Between Snooki’s new orange fist-pumping baby, The Situation’s trip to rehab and the public’s general exhaustion at watching society spiral downward before their very eyes, MTV doesn’t think it can sustain its Jersey Shore product any longer, ie. the only interesting drunk people aren’t going to be drinking anymore. So they’re cancelling it and announcing the sixth season of the show as its last.
On Thursday (August 30), MTV announced that the upcoming sixth season of “Jersey Shore” will be its last, bringing the party to a close after three years, two continents and one lil’ bambino (not to mention countless punch-ups, blow-outs and catch phrases.)
The cast will now go back to their regular lives and, in the future, most likely regale their children with tales of how they were once kings able to do “so much blow, dude,” and punch women in the face without consequence before finishing up their kid’s spray tan and sending them off to school with a hearty dap.
There is a God! Thank you!
Who will go bankrupt first?