Shia LaBeouf Will Have Sex for Real in Next Film

Shia LaBeouf confirmed he’ll be starring in Lars Von Trier’s next film Nymphomaniac. “So what?,” you may be asking. “Casting announcements happen every day. Show me the titties!” Uh, calm down dude.

Anyway, this announcement is important for one reason. Shia LaBeouf says all the sex scenes in this movie will be for real. And as you can tell by the title, there’ll be a lot of sex.

“It is what you think it is. There’s a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says, we’re doing [the sex] for real. And anything that is ‘illegal’ will be shot in blurred images. But other than that, everything is happening.”

Nymphomaniac follows Charlotte Gainsbourg’s character’s sex life from birth until adulthood (sex life at birth? kinky). It’ll be split into two parts and released in a censored and uncensored version. Also starring in the film are Willem Dafoe, Stellan Skarsgard and Nicole Kidman.

No word on who’ll Shia will be boning but my bet is Charlotte Gainsbourg’s character. She did something similar in Antichrist. Sort of. In that one I think they used porn actors.

Whatever the case, Shia better be lying when he says the “illegal” stuff will be blurred. Four hours of censored porn is not how I want to spend a Friday night. What is this, Japan?