Elmo’s Third Accuser’s Unpublished Book Is Very Detailed

As promised, excerpts from Elmo’s third accuser’s unpublished book, we’ll go with the working title 50 Shades of Gay, were read at a press conference yesterday. It was pretty explicit and read like a porn novella. What made the entire press event really awkward wasn’t the actual text but that the guy reading it was some middle-aged lawyer. Oh and Kevin Clash is referred to as Mr. Tickler in the book. Now, let’s move on to what you all want to know. The deets as they say. A few of the excerpts as follows:

  • Mr. Tickler is what I will call him. And the game we played was father and son.
  • When we first met, I was 16 and there was no intercourse. However, lots of heavy kissing and he showed me what it felt like to get on your knees and obey your man.
  • I noticed he had an Emmy on his shelf and I thought it could not be real because I knew every black man who had an Emmy or so I thought.
  • On our first night, I did not lose my virginity.
  • He took his finger and placed it inside my ass and told me how tight I was. I whispered to him, “I have never been touched there before.”
  • “We will take this thing slow, just let me taste you,” he requested. I didn’t want to disappoint so I allowed Mr. Tickler to taste my growing manhood and I decided to return the favor.

So when Mr. Tickler put his finger in his ass and told him how tight he was, who was he comparing him to? Elmo? Because that wouldn’t be that big of a deal. You could fit your whole hand inside him.

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