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Kai Has Been Arrested

Your favorite hatchet-wielding hitchhiker Kai has been arrested. Hours after police began searching for Kai on suspicion of murder, they found him at a Greyhound Bus stop at 6:30 pm on Thursday.

A Starbucks employee recognized Kai when he came in for a drink. Employees called the cops after he left.

No word on if his Facebook post about him being sexually assaulted was directly tied to the 73-year-old lawyer’s murder. Would an old dude even be able to do that? Drugging him, sure, but finishing on his face? I’d expect the only thing to come out would be a puff of smoke and a couple of moths like an empty sarcophagus.

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