Drunk Driving 16 Year Old Kills Four, Blames ‘Affluenza’ and Gets Probation

Back in June in Fort Worth, Texas, Ethan Couch, 16, boozed his way to a .24 blood-alcohol-content, had Valium in his system and decided to hop in his F-350 and go on a beer run. It did not end well. His drunk driving killed one stranded motorist, Breanna Mitchell; three Good Samaritans including a mother and daughter, Hollie Boyles and Shelby Boyles; a pastor, Brian Jennings; and also left one passenger, Sergio Molina, paralyzed, brain damaged and able to communicate only by blinking his eye.

However, we should not blame Couch, not according to the defense’s psychologist, Gary Miller. Instead, we need to point the finger at the deadly disease ‘affluenza’. According to the Star-Telegram:

Miller called the teen a victim of “affluenza,” a rich-kid syndrome that led him to believe money solved everything.

His parents had a volatile and co-dependent relationship, and had a contentious divorce…The parents argued often…”The teen never learned to say that you’re sorry if you hurt someone,” Miller said. “If you hurt someone, you sent him money.”

“This kid has been in a system that’s sick…”

“If he goes to jail, that’s just another sick system.”

So, this kid suffered from the disease of having too much money. It’s hard to call something a disease when every single person wants to contract it.

Couch could’ve received 20 years in prison. However, State District Judge Jean Boyd deemed that too light of a punishment, and instead sentenced Couch to a more punitive 10 years of probation. Not only that, the court has been considering the defense’s suggestion to send the teen away to a $500,000 per year Southern California treatment facility. In other words, a vacation.

Scientists appear to have researched this deadly disease of ‘affluenza’. Strangely, it strikes only 1% of the population. However, the same scientists have found a corollary affliction, striking the remaining 99% of people. They’ve termed this disease ‘s**t out of luck-uenza’.