Ice-T Recorded a Dungeons and Dragons Audiobook: ‘Motherf*ckers Talk Like Yoda’

On Ice T’s latest Final Level Podcast, the rapper talked about how he agreed to record an audiobook only to find out much later that the book was based on Dungeons and Dragons. Since he committed to the project, he went through with it but in no way did he understand a word he was reading. Listening to him describe the experience was hilarious.

“They didn’t tell me this was a motherfuckin’ Dungeons & Dragons book,” Ice says, explaining to partner Mick Benzo that D&D is “some of the most crazy, deep, deep nerd s**t.”

“Motherfuckers talk like Yoda,” Ice T marvels.

“They were talking about ‘pegasuses’ and ‘pegasi.’ That’s horses with wings,” he continues. “This motherfucker got a sword that talks to him… Motherfuckers live in places that don’t exist, and it comes with a map. My God.”

A map too? No way! I’m in. Where can I find this…I mean, NERD! Let’s give them a wedgie!

Ice-T says it took him three and a half hours to record 25 pages. He didn’t reveal the title but promised to let fans know when it goes on sale. “It’ll be a treat to watch me, with my South Central-educated ass, trying to read some Dungeons & Dragons s**t.”

Suffice to say, this may be the greatest audiobook since Samuel L. Jackson’s Go the F**k to Sleep. Hopefully there’ll be a CD full of outtakes because I just want to hear him try to pronounce a made up Dungeons & Dragons word for 10 minutes, give up and yell in frustration, “What the f*ck is this sh*t?!”