Big Bang’s Kaley Cuoco Cuts Hair, Gives Nerds False Hope

When The Big Bang Theory begins its new season on September 22, Kaley Cuoco, who plays Penny, will be sporting a new pixie cut (she cut it a while back). This could be the biggest news in TV hair since Felicity chopped off her locks or Walter White lost his lid to chemo.

Nerds, if you think this haircut will cause regret, lowering Kaley’s self-esteem to the point she’ll get with you, think again.

  1. Kaley is married – to a professional tennis player. With abs.
  2. Kaley hangs out with fake nerds. She encounters real nerds only during appearances at Comic-Con, where she’s surrounded by security.
  3. You should be able to get a real girlfriend. This isn’t 1978 – nerds are accepted now. Yes, your real girlfriend will be overweight. But so are you, and you’ll be thinking about porn while you’re having sex with her anyway. And she’ll be way into video games.
  4. Kaley cut her hair for a movie role. Getting paid an assload of money to change your look probably leaves your self-esteem intact.
  5. With the short hair, she kinda looks like Robin Wright’s terrifying character on House of Cards. Do you really want a girlfriend who makes your balls retract?
  6. You can always masturbate to that quirky Pauley Perrette on NCIS.

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7 years ago

I love women with short hair but on Kaley I don’t find it sexy, it doesn’t do it for me

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