ESC

None of This Stuff Happened in ‘Grey’s Anatomy’. Hospital Staff Tell Their Craziest Stories

In a NSFW Reddit thread earlier this week, doctors and nurses were asked the strangest thing they’ve walked in on a patient doing.

One of the highest…rated…ones? (I’m a girl so don’t know how Reddit works heehee) was this romantic scene:

Woman giving her husband a blowjob. Except that she was the patient in the burn unit, admitted after a flash fire from pouring lighter fluid on her barbecue. All the hair on her face was singed off, her face was super swollen and red, and we had caked on antibiotic ointment all over her face to treat her burns. Talk about sloppy head.”

Sounds REALLY painful in terms of skin-stretching stuff. Like lady, if your husband visited you and asked for that, maybe think again on that one. This would have been kind of romantic if he had been going down on her.

“Im not a doctor but a few years ago I went to visit a friend in hospital when I walked into the wrong room and witnessed a patient peeing into their own mouth. I was so shocked I just slowly took a few steps back and quietly left his room. EDIT: Male, I would say his age was around 18/19 from my quick glance and turn”

Hospitals are boring from what I hear! Or maybe he was thirsty?

“2 teenage girls in a children’s hospital for sickle cell were in the same room together and were discussing the nice things their pimp bought them. One girl had received a nice hand bag and the other one had received something less nice. They then, after more discussion of their pimps, realized they had the same pimp causing the girl who got worse things to try and steal the others hand bag saying that she deserved it more or something. This lead to them fighting and pulling out each others central lines. Bloody mess. But one of my favorite stories. Got to love Oakland.”

That one I’m not even sure what to say. Very sad to be teens with pimps, but very funny that their form of fighting was to pull out central lines.

“Not a doctor but paramedic that spent time working in the IMCU early in my career. I was monitoring patients telemetry (basically like watching and EKG for 12 hours) and noticed our recently trached (had a hole cut in his neck to allow him to breath) patients heart rate was increasing and he was having abnormalities in his ekg that were not resolving. Paged the nurse and she knocked on the door and upon entering found his wife riding him hard. She was like a deer in headlights and then slowly backed out. It was hilarious! Definitely was not expecting the guys wife to be having sex with him while he has a new trach. But hey that’s love.”

All in all, I would say that love is alive and well in hospitals. And that teenage boys masturbate a lot.

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