Girls Tell the Most Awkward Things Guys Have Said to Them

Let’s face it. Women are tasked with the responsibility of responding to the ridiculous things men say to us. It’s not just in bars. It’s not just on Tinder. It’s a real life, often daily, thing.

Since the day my breasts budded, I have been asked:

• ‘Are you taking applications for back support?’
• ‘Oh…. you have fibromyalgia?… I could give you a boob massage.”
• One guy has called me exclusively called ‘Sugartits’ as if it were printed on my birth certificate
• An ex-boyfriend once asked if I could have silicone models of my breasts made for him to use as stress balls

And on a not-so-boob related note, one time in the 8th grade, a guy wrote me a song about my feet that he wanted to perform to me over iChat video.

Obviously, I’m not the only one who has encountered weird sentiments. As per an Ask Reddit question:

Girls: What’s the most awkward thing a guy has ever said to you?

Responses trickled in, favorites being:

• guy double-bagged my spaghetti sauce at grocery store.”thanks for thinking of my spaghetti” “i dream about it”

This has been said to me too.

• “I think I left a blowjob back at your place”

Also:

• post-hookup: “yah um, so in case anything happens, it’s like, i use accutane, so you’d want to get that taken care of ASAP or else that baby would be really messed up.”
• I was a tourist in NYC and a guy grabbed my wrist and told me “Let’s go to my apartment, I’ll make you dinner.”

My borderline stalking ex would totally pull something like this in his quest to force me to marry him.

I’m actually incredibly inspired by this question and will now be asking all people. Not just guys get creepy. I’ve been hit on by a pushy lesbian in being told, “You can’t know that you don’t want me until you’ve had me…”

Afterthought: I was once invited over a friend’s house to blaze when he met me on the front lawn with an unexpected kiss in the rain. After the kiss, he later said:

“I hope you don’t mind that [redacted] is here.”

“Nope, don’t mind”

Ok, so let it be known that [redacted] is known for being an asshole just to make everyone uncomfortable. As soon as I inhaled, he unleashes:

So…….. which one of our dicks are you going to suck first? We don’t mind going together.