ESC

The Five Most Jank Outfits at the 2016 Golden Globes

You ready for me to take the piss out of some wealthy, hot, successful people?

That’s what I fucking thought.

5. Cate Blanchett

51943572 Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Pictured: Cate Blanchett FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE

This talented actress looked like she cut the hair off a thousand My Little Pony dolls and glued them to her body in this super weird Givenchy dress, that came compete with nipple tassels and a tail.

51943484 The 73rd Golden Globe Awards held at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on 1/10/16 The 73rd Golden Globe Awards held at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on 1/10/16 Cate Blanchett FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876

How many plastic ponies must die, Cate? Where does it end?

4. Jane Fonda

6FatClX

While I know retro is in, this Jurassic Park looking ruffles on this dress are probably a little too old school.

51944396 Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Pictured: Jane Fonda FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE

She still hotter than me, tho.

3. Eva Longoria

51943595 Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Pictured: Eva Longoria FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE

I’ve heard of getting dressed in the dark, but this dress straight up looks like it was designed in the dark. From the waist up this looks like a shirt your mom bought on sale at Old Navy. From the waist down it just looks fucking confused. The stiff fabric? The cut up the front that looks like some kind of aquatic creature’s birthing slit? What???

2. America Ferrera

51943619 Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Celebrities arriving at the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on January 10, 2016. Pictured: America Ferrera FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE

Who wants to go to prom with America Fererra? Me. 100%. I don’t even care that this dress looks like a bottle of mustard with rhinestones decorating the squeezy part. Pls go to prom with me, America?

1. Maril Davis

This dress is almost impressively horrible. It’s like some asshole went, “You know what’s cool? Cut outs, see-through accents, short formal dresses, strategic ruffles, high necklines, and tousled hair? Let’s fix that. After today, none of these things will be cool anymore.”

1
Leave a Reply

avatar
1 Comment threads
0 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
1 Comment authors
AussieDan Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
AussieDan
Guest
AussieDan

I facepalm a little harder every time I see an article by Isadora on this site. To date we seem to have:

1. 98% #ConservativeFeminism followed by…
2. Bitching out pretty girls about their college video
3. Bitching out women for their appearance

Latest
Load more