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Maria Sharapova at the Beach Because She’s Got a Lot of Free Time Now

Maria Sharapova has got some time on her hands now. She got popped for taking a banned substance called meldonium. Her recent failed drug test probably means she won’t be on the tennis courts for awhile. Two to four years to be exact. Does she care? Nah. She’s made close to $300 million in her career already. Getting banned now is like a vacation.

Sponsors have started dropping her like radioactive material. Nike, Tag Heuer and Porsche have said ‘buh-bye’ in recent days.

Sharapova wrote a letter to her fans yesterday to express her thoughts.

I woke up yesterday morning with an inbox, in full capacity of love and compassion…

It is fair to say that this day was not average. Nothing came to mind at 6am except that I am determined to play tennis again and I hope I will have the chance to do so. I wish I didn’t have to go through this, but I do – and I will.

Let me read between the lines. Why, oh why, did I get popped?

I needed to sweat, to push through and grind as I have done most of my life, so I made my way to the gym.

The gym? Doesn’t she mean the doctor’s office? To get another shot of meldonium up her butt? I’m not sure that’s how they administer the drug, but like any drug, it hits the system faster if injected through the butthole.

In this moment, I am so proud to call you my fans. Within hours of my announcement, you showed me support and loyalty, which I could only expect to hear when someone would be at the top of their profession.

Thank god I’m white!

I’d like to play again and hope to have the chance to do so. Your messages give me great encouragement. This message isn’t anything else but to say thank you. Thank you very much.

Does anybody know a good substitute for meldonium?

Here she is on the beach, laughing, exercising and enjoying life as if her past ten years in tennis wasn’t a fraud.

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