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Carmelo Anthony’s Mistress Will Turn Around The New York Knicks

Carmelo Anthony had a rough year. His New York Knicks sucked. Again. Phil Jackson, the team president or something, openly criticized him. He didn’t get traded even though he tried really hard to play and talk his way out of New York. And finally, La La left him.

But, all hope is not lost for Melo. He’s about to be a father.

You see, La La left Melo because she found out, or just stopped accepting, that he had a mistress. And, it turns out, that mistress is pregnant. This is just like the movie Fences. Sorry, I finally saw Fences last week. It’s a really great movie.

Mia Angel Burks is Anthony’s alleged mistress. She’s not a stripper. She works in education revitalization. Melo is a $100 million player, strippers are beneath him. She started seeing the baller last summer. Turns out, that wasn’t Carmelo Anthony at the Olympics. That explains why he played so well.

Melo met Burks in Chicago. Being an investigative journalist, I decided to see how well Melo played in Chicago this season. Turns out, he only played in Chicago once this season and it was the fifth game of the season. The Knicks won. Melo had 25 points. The Knicks also beat the Bulls two other times, both games were in New York. Is it possible that Burks traveled to New York to see those games?

Of course it is. Anthony Jacobs, a friend of Burks who came out with all the details to set the record straight, said that Burks would fly to New York to see Melo.

Everything is starting to add up now. La La is the reason the Knicks sucked. Again. Burks will turn this team around.

Check out her pics here.

[Image: Heavy]

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