Why Taylor Swift Is the Biggest Fuckboy in Pop Music

So, before we get into this, I just want to define what a fuckboy is, in case you don’t already know what that means.

According to Urban Dictionary:

“A Fuckboy is the type of guy who does s**t that generally pisses the population of the earth off all the time…He also does really fucked up s**t and then complains about people who do the same old s**t as him. once a fuckboy always a fuckboy, because f**k boys ganna be fuckboys.”

As a feminist, I believe that somebody identifying as a woman doesn’t mean they can’t also be a goddamn fuckboy. And I want to talk about why Taylor Swift is a Grade A fuckboy, because I take feminism, celebrities, pop culture criticism, and my job very seriously.

So for reference, the fuckboy anthem is probably “Hotline Bling” by Drake. But what makes it a fuckboy anthem?

The fucking lyrics. It’s minutes of Drake whining about his old booty call fucking other people and partying without him after he literally ditched her and the entire city they lived in.

In any other situation that s**t would be insane. Imagine if you quit a job totally respectfully, put in your two weeks notice, and a month into your new job, your old boss emails you whining because you’re taking someone else’s bullshit and wearing new colors of button-up shirts now.

That is classic fuckboy entitlement material. You fucking move out of a city, and expect your old booty call in that city to still only suck your dick, when that dick might be 1,000 miles away, and it would be physically impossible for them to continue sucking it.

Instead of realizing that his moving away is what caused their rift, he pretty much calls out the girl for having fun without him like some kinda victim, after he fucking moved away. Fuckboys expect a lot of s**t from people, but don’t take responsibility for anything.

Which brings me to Taylor Swift. There’s a thousand think pieces and angry Twitter rants out there about her victim complex. About how almost every song of hers is about how other people have wronged her horribly, and she has never done anything wrong in her life. About how she starts weird drama and lies about people to try and cut them down. We have her on tape fucking playing Kanye West.

That’s Grade A fuckboy material. She goes through famous dudes like a teenage boy with an internet connection goes through tissues, writing songs left and right about how everyone is terrible to her, and puts on this sweet and nice girl power shtick while taking a stand about nothing and actively trying to tear other famous people down left and right.

Someone who plays nice while fucking with other people for their own ends is what we call, in academic circles, a goddamn fuckboy.

Her lyrics aren’t just fuckboyish, but her whole way of life is that of the fuckboy. Her and sad drunk Ed Sheeran are probably neck and neck in the Fuckboy Olympics, but after trying to throw a mentally ill man under the fucking bus as many times as her lily white hands could manage, I’m gonna give it to her.

Because I am incredibly qualified to make this call.