ESC

Why Taylor Swift Is the Biggest Fuckboy in Pop Music

So, before we get into this, I just want to define what a fuckboy is, in case you don’t already know what that means.

According to Urban Dictionary:

“A Fuckboy is the type of guy who does shit that generally pisses the population of the earth off all the time…He also does really fucked up shit and then complains about people who do the same old shit as him. once a fuckboy always a fuckboy, because fuck boys ganna be fuckboys.”

As a feminist, I believe that somebody identifying as a woman doesn’t mean they can’t also be a goddamn fuckboy. And I want to talk about why Taylor Swift is a Grade A fuckboy, because I take feminism, celebrities, pop culture criticism, and my job very seriously.

So for reference, the fuckboy anthem is probably “Hotline Bling” by Drake. But what makes it a fuckboy anthem?

The fucking lyrics. It’s minutes of Drake whining about his old booty call fucking other people and partying without him after he literally ditched her and the entire city they lived in.

In any other situation that shit would be insane. Imagine if you quit a job totally respectfully, put in your two weeks notice, and a month into your new job, your old boss emails you whining because you’re taking someone else’s bullshit and wearing new colors of button-up shirts now.

That is classic fuckboy entitlement material. You fucking move out of a city, and expect your old booty call in that city to still only suck your dick, when that dick might be 1,000 miles away, and it would be physically impossible for them to continue sucking it.

Instead of realizing that his moving away is what caused their rift, he pretty much calls out the girl for having fun without him like some kinda victim, after he fucking moved away. Fuckboys expect a lot of shit from people, but don’t take responsibility for anything.

Which brings me to Taylor Swift. There’s a thousand think pieces and angry Twitter rants out there about her victim complex. About how almost every song of hers is about how other people have wronged her horribly, and she has never done anything wrong in her life. About how she starts weird drama and lies about people to try and cut them down. We have her on tape fucking playing Kanye West.

That’s Grade A fuckboy material. She goes through famous dudes like a teenage boy with an internet connection goes through tissues, writing songs left and right about how everyone is terrible to her, and puts on this sweet and nice girl power shtick while taking a stand about nothing and actively trying to tear other famous people down left and right.

Someone who plays nice while fucking with other people for their own ends is what we call, in academic circles, a goddamn fuckboy.

Her lyrics aren’t just fuckboyish, but her whole way of life is that of the fuckboy. Her and sad drunk Ed Sheeran are probably neck and neck in the Fuckboy Olympics, but after trying to throw a mentally ill man under the fucking bus as many times as her lily white hands could manage, I’m gonna give it to her.

Because I am incredibly qualified to make this call.

Leave a Reply

17 Comments on "MET Costume Institute Gala 2016"

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
gem2477
Guest

Nah. The song is so immature and outright stupid that Kanye is probably somewhere laughing his ass off.

earlharbeson
Guest

Funny, She sold out 5 nights at the Staple Center for 1989 which seated a total of 86,000 people, She has sold 120,000 tickets in the Rose Bowl so far for the “Reputation”. I doubt he is laughing to loud, he made $31,745,967 on his Saint Pablo Tour, she sold $180,000,000 worth of tickets the first week.

Thao Truong
Guest

dont be jealous…that song basically says it all. its genius…how else is it breaking record…if it sucked then everyone would say so….revenge comes in everyway and she got hers by being top of the list…lets see all her haters get there like taylor did. NOTTTT

BigJimSlade
Guest

It’s genius? It’s not even music.
This generic crap wouldn’t have managed to be a B-side on a Madonna single 20 years ago.

gem2477
Guest

She could have released a track of her farting and it’d be #1. With her, that’s not a good demonstration of if it being a good song.

AussieDan
Guest

Remember when Taylor wrote poppy country songs…?

Shawn Cicero
Guest

wow people are nutty stalkers

Mithrull
Guest

Pretend to like her fans? Bwhahahahahahaha you are fucking pathetic.

Moise
Guest

who the hell are you guys? no names, just jealous of her fame and success. But who can blame you? You do this for green.

Sinead McGowan
Guest

ooooh Taylor’s army

Atomic Rat
Guest

oh my fucking god !!!!!!

she’s so existential… she’s so multidimensional… she’s so fucking awesomely…. banal and pedantic.

So you really don’t have to have anything one the ball other than a good PR firm and a fair agent to be a success as a pop star.

I didn’t believe them. It’s still hard to believe.

Larry
Guest

That girl is too high maintenance and a loon.

Atomic Rat
Guest

Sailor Twit – the rally face of the nazi generation.

Nice one. The one trick pony and the goosesteppers.

Sieg Heil, frau Taylor. I see you’re on to your next crossover genre.

jay
Guest

“Except, anyone can join. Even if they are not, wait for it, fans of Taylor.” How would a phone app know whether or not someone is a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s it going to do, read all your archived text messages to see if you talk about Miss Swift with your friends and determine if you said positive or negative things about her?

Perry de Havilland
Guest

“Taylor has been criticized by just about everyone for not speaking for or against Trump”

Yeah Taylor is missing a beat here, I mean we all just *love* to be lectured by sage-like showbiz celebrities about politics, right?

me
Guest

1/3rd of the country supports being mean and fueling drama, while the other 2/3rds has had enough. So Taylor’s drama filled, passive aggressive, mean girl behavior is no longer tolerated by most. Most of us had enough of Taylor & people like her.

Thai Wu
Guest

No doubt she will sell out if her rich father and rich close business connections buy them up to save her REPUTATION.

Latest
Load more