O.J. Simpson Moved to Special Unit Because Inmates May Wanna Kill Him

O.J. Simpson was granted parole on Thursday and then moved to a special house in Lovelock Correctional Center as those at the prison feared that other inmates would squeeze the Juice one final time.

According to TMZ, while no threats had been made, several inmates have life sentences and would be willing to make their name by killing O.J. They must not know O.J. because this man is so charismatic and charming that he’s probably friends with everyone in the prison. If they ever hear this news, they’ll probably kill the guards for moving him and believing they would ever harm O.J.

The best part of TMZ’s report is that, due to being moved, O.J. can no longer be commissioner of the prison softball league. How will the softball league ever recover? I hope the inmates go on strike and they have to bring in scab inmates to keep the league afloat. I’m telling you, this move is totally going to backfire on the prison. You can’t take O.J. from his fans.

O.J. is expected to sign autographs on his way out of the building on October 1st. The release could be televised, as O.J. will become the first man to get a job two seconds after he’s released from prison.