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Scarlett Johansson Prefers Funny Dick Over Old Dick

Scarlett Johansson can’t decide: old dick or funny dick. Initially, Johansson was linked to SNL comedian Colin Jost. The two hooked up, probably boned, after Johansson’s recent SNL appearance. That was a couple of months ago.

Just recently, Johansson went out with her lawyer, Kevin Yorn. Yorn’s nineteen years old then Scarlett. They made out, probably boned also. Maybe Scarlett taught Yorn some new slang afterwards.

Now, Scarlett’s back to making out with Colin Jost. The two were spotted at The Palm Friday night in East Hampton. TMZ says “diners say it got pretty romantic with a smooch here and there.” A smooch. Did they bone???

Johansson can’t decide if she wants to hear jokes or have someone read her contracts. Take Jost. Robots are taking over for lawyers, but as of yet, robots can’t make jokes.

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