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Nicolas Cage is Broke From Buying Pygmy Heads and Dinosaur Skulls

Nicolas Cage should be rich. He’s done so many awesomely bad movies for a ton of money that he should be off on his own private island right now, living it up with whichever model he choses to be with. “Should be” is the key phrase in that sentence.

Nicolas Cage is not rich because instead of how own private island, he spent $150 million on a castle, some shrunken skulls, dinosaur bones, and other shit that doesn’t impress the ladies as much as your own private island. Or $150 million. Yeah, he was better off holding onto that $150 million and bragging about it rather than thinking a shrunken head will get him laid.

The Daily Mail has a list of all the ways Cage blew his money. Let’s examine:

*15 Homes: Having more than one house will never make sense to me. You have one house than you’re sometimes at and then you Air BnB every where else. You can only be in one place at a time. Until cloning is perfected and you can be in 15 places at once, there is no reason to own 15 homes. Cage’s homes included a waterfront place in California, a countryside home in Rhode Island, some residence in Las Vegas, a chalet in Colorado, and a haunted house in New Orleans.

On second thought, I respect the hell out of Nic Cage for having 15 homes. Dude had a house for every situation and season.

*Pyramid Tomb: This is actually awesome. If you have enough money to have your own pyramid built, you should do it. But you should do it like a true Pharaoh and not pay anyone while they build it.

*Animals: Cage collected snakes, sharks, crocodiles, and other pets. Just buy a zoo, dude.

*A Lamborghini: Not just any Lamborghini mind you. The Shah of Iran Mohammad Reza Pahlavi Lamborghini. He paid $450,000 for the car. I guess Angelia Jolie didn’t want to help him steal that one.

*A Dinosaur Skull: Just buy a museum, dude.

*Pygamy Heads: You’ve lost me.

*Comic Books: We all know Nic Cage can’t read.

Cage is now down to $25 million, which is still more than Johnny Depp has. He’s reportedly taking roles, left and right in order to not be broke.

How is that different from how Cage typically selects his roles?

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