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‘Party of Five’ Reboot No One Asked for to Air on Freeform, a Network No One Watches Anyway

The parade of terrible relaunches of terrible television shows is about to add another float as Freeform announced it’s moving forward with a reimagined version of Party of Five. Yes, Party of Five, the melodramatic Fox show from the 90’s that we only watched to see Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love-Hewitt is coming back with a spicy Latin twist.

In an attempt to inject some modern political relevance into the show, the parents of the five children in the reboot will have been deported to Mexico instead of killed by a drunk driver. It really shows how we’ve grown as a nation that our overwrought drama plots can now focus on the callous way we treat our fellow man instead of the morality of substance abuse.

According to Variety, Freeform has given the series a put pilot commitment, meaning that if the network decides to pass on airing the pilot, they’ll have to pay a penalty. Considering that Freeform airs The 700 Club twice a day due to contractual obligations, it’s a safe bet that you’ll see at least a pilot from the new Party of Cinco.

That’s a lot of faith to put into a show that has not been in the public consciousness since flannel shirts were in style and Bill Clinton was president. Of course, Freeform might be desperate for non-Marvel related programming after giving New Warriors the boot, though Cloak and Dagger, based on a Marvel Comics title that was essentially a 1980s-era anti-drug PSA, is still slated to air later this year.

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