Donald Trump’s Bald Head Is As Creepy As His Worldview

Donald Trump is bald. I think we all knew this, right? No one has looked at him in the past 20 years and said “that’s a normal-looking head of hair for an adult human.” If you remember back to the presidential campaign, Jimmy Fallon caused a stir by asking Trump if he could mess his hair up.

It definitely doesn’t move like normal hair. This segment was criticized endlesslt by the left, who were disappointed that Fallon “normalized” Trump instead of upholding the tradition of hard-hitting political journalism The Tonight Show had been known for under previous hosts. This is a far cry from the multi-night interview between Johnny Carson and Richard Nixon in the wake of Watergate or Jay Leno’s relentless interrogation of George W. Bush over the lies he told in the run up to the Iraq war.

Today we got another look at Trump’s hair being “messed up,” which I’m sure will lead to endless accusations about the wind “normalizing Trump” from people inviting the architects of the Iraq war on their programs to explain why torture is good as long as they call Trump a moron.

That is not what normal hair does. That is weirdest combover in the history of mankind. It’s like a reverse-mullet where he’s grown the hair in the front of his head long to cover the giant bald spot in the back. It’s the most obvious hair cover-job in Washington this side of Rand Paul.

Yeah, look at that rug. That is two different colors, styles and textures of hair. That thing needs to be fed twice a day. Still, the classic toupee look is miles ahead of whatever the hell kind of billionaire money pit Trump pissed his money away on. He looks like he had a baboon’s ass transplanted to his head, but just on the sides. I’m also petty sure that story about how french fry oil causes hair growth explains why our billionaire president is always eating fast food, though.