Woman Shoots Boyfriend for Smooshing Pizza in Her Face

I think we’ve all been in a position where someone pushed a piece of pizza into our face so we shot them in the chest, made multiple phone calls while they were bleeding out and then claimed the shooting was an accident. There are dozens of late-night infomercials for products related to this sort of incident, most notably the Ron Popeil Pocket Internal Trauma Kit with Bullet Snaffler, which promises to snaffle bullets of any size.

This is exactly what happened in Millmont, Pennsylvania when a woman named Jennifer Boop shot her boyfriend Brandon Dolan during a fight after he smooshed pizza in her face.

That Escalated Quickly

I think that the reason this happened is years of anger at having the last name Boop. And if you’re going to be named Boop, the least you can do is name your daughter Betty.

NBC 10 in Philadelphia presented an interesting theory from Boop’s defense attorney, presented during her trial for attempted murder.

“It sounds like my client was bullied,” Dautrich said after the hearing. “I never saw anyone smoosh anything gently. What was next?”

Dautrich has clearly never been to a wedding. “What was next?” In terms of proportionate responses, I’d guess a vigorous pillow fight.

Really, this whole chain of events is no surprise to me or, really, anyone who has ever dated a woman. I’m pretty sure at sometime or another all of us have imagined that the last thing you’d see in your life is your girlfriend pointing a gun at you and screaming “I’ll show you who’s overreacting!”

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