Ellen Barkin Hope Louis C.K. Gets Raped, Shot At

‘80s starlet turned spunky septuagenarian Ellen Barkin has set her sights on current public whipping post #1,  Louis C.K., following the leak of his disastrous December 16th set at the Governor’s Comedy Club in Long Island.

Said set, which saw Louis taking aim (ahem) at the teenaged survivors of the tragic Parkland Massacre, dropping the “R” word like it was hot, and just generally micro-aggression-ing his pasty ass off, has resulted in a wave of criticism from woke Twitter randos and legitimate news outlets alike.

But Barkin took things a tad bit further than the rest of the peanut gallery by stating in a series of recent tweets that she hopes Louis gets “raped” and “shot at” as reprisal for his triggering schtick.

First of all, lol. The extremely blunt nature of Barkin’s tweets is inherently funny — probably funnier than the entirety of Louis’ meandering routine. That being said, there’s something ironic about someone (a woman no less) attacking Louis in this manner. The two biggest black marks on his record are A) being a serially aggressive masturbator and B) saying offensive things about people who got shot at.

So you take the guy on by… specifically wishing sexual assault and death-via-firearm on him? Where is the internal logic in that!? I’m certainly not standing in line to defend Louis the Lubricator, but it’s become clear that the hypocrisy of Tinseltown’s “tsk-tsk” brigade knows no bounds.

All that being said, the Internet will likely hit Barkin’s highly problematic tweets with a resounding YASSS QUEEN, because the sad sack on the receiving end of her barrage happens to be a pariah putz with a career death wish. And, frankly, even if Louis’ act really wasn’t that offensive in the end, he low-key had it coming for misreading the room (and by the room I mean America) in such a terrifically idiotic manner.

And, if there’s anything we’ve learned from the Asia Argento’s of the world, celebrities whose stars aren’t burning too bright love to heap abuse on those who reached the top and fell off. So salute Ellen Barkin for getting in her licks while she can, but here’s hoping no one fulfills her tweeted request. Louis’ life is probably bad enough right now without either being filled with holes or having his holes forcibly filled.

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4 years ago

People would probably prefer to rape him before her old ugly ass

Gabe Oytoucher
Gabe Oytoucher
4 years ago

This article is the worst joke of all. This is not how a “reporter” reports. Dash Finley you are a clown writer. You should be embarrassed and unemployed.