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Tyra Banks Is Bringing the Modeling World to the Commoners with Model-Themed Amusement Park

Supermodel Tyra Banks has a new project. To open a model-themed amusement park called “Modelland” at the end of 2019. The announcement came via Banks’ Instagram post:

“My dream for you will soon be a reality. #Modelland. A place where everyone can be a model. A place where all beauty is celebrated. I can’t wait for you to Step Into Your Light. Head over to Model-Land.com to sign up for more information.”

This theme park is being described as a “21,000-square-foot experiential attraction located at the Santa Monica Place shopping and dining destination.” It’s meant to give visitors the experience of the modeling world from a highly fantastical viewpoint. Visitors will have access to shopping, dining, interactive entertainment, and other special events.

In an interview with Variety, Banks described her plans for her upcoming park:

“I’ve always been insanely inspired by attractions like Disneyland and Universal Studios and have wanted to bring that spirit of adventure and storytelling to the world of modeling.”

“Modelland is going to be a place where the modeling world meets fantasy, meets entertainment, meets technology, meets retail, meets dining, meets … your fiercest best self you could ever imagine.”

This…this does not sound like an amusement park. This entire thing sounds like a glorified shopping center combined with a photography studio.

An amusement park has rides — Roller coasters, ferris wheels, a fucking Scrambler, for Christ sake. Amusement parks also have disgustingly delicious junk food that makes us sick, but we love it anyway — burgers, pizza, fries, ice cream, funnel cakes, and the like. If I’m to believe that this is supposed to give you the “model experience,” it sounds like all we can expect in the way of food will be wheatgrass shakes, carrot sticks, and yogurt.

I don’t know what these “interactive experiences” are, but if there’s no evidence of at least one lousy roller coaster, it should be illegal to call yourself an amusement park. Walt Disney is turning over in his grave right now.

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