Joe Biden Announces Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby as Campaign Co-Chairs

Vice President Joe Biden is running for president and he’s bringing out the big guns as he announces Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby will be co-chairmen of his campaign. As you know, Biden has a history of touching women and young girls in really creepy ways, most recently by a woman named Lucy Flores who says he kissed her head and smelled her hair at a fundraiser. Which is weird.

You basically can’t turn around without bumping into Joe Biden touching someone in a way that’s not sexual but is really creepy in light of just how uncomfortable the touchee seems.

But if Biden is going to be president, he’s going to have to take it to the next level. Trump is out there grabbing women by the pussies, we’re not going to elect some weirdo hair sniffer after that. So Biden is getting help from America’s Dad Bill Cosby and longtime friend and supporter Harvey Weinstein.

Here’s what Weinstein had to say.

I’ve always liked Joe Biden, we have a lot in common, like how we want to be seen as super progressive but we treat women like props or sex toys. But this is the big time now, and with my help we can take Joe from creepy uncle to the kind of unapologetic sex offender that Americans clearly think should be sitting in the oval office. Forget Clinton and Trump, it’s Biden’s time now.

Bill Cosby was unavailable for comment because he was in the yard, but Biden’s people relayed to us that “He’ll be a big help to the campaign. People like him because he’s clean and articulate.”

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