Paris Jackson Is Not Here For Your Cannabis Shaming

Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson smokes pot. This is fine because basically everyone smokes pot and it’s harmless, far more harmless than tobacco and alcohol which are legal in most of the world while pot is only now being legalized. This recently came up because Paris, like a lot of people who smoke pot, made some weird food.

I kind of want to eat that. Doesn’t that sound awesome? Then she explained the origin of this grilled heart attack.

Right? I can get on board for that. Was there ever any doubt why someone would make that?

But then along came captain buzzkill to push up his nerd glasses and explain how Nancy Reagan told him drugs are bad.

Yeah, if there’s one thing I know it’s that musicians don’t do drugs. Michael Jackson was an opiate addict, by the way, and he died of a drug overdose. He liked drugs almost as much as he liked molesting kids. But what kind of dipshit uses someone’s dead dad to shame them for using the least harmful drug on the planet? Seriously, it’s easier to overdose on Tylenol than pot.

By the way, pot does indeed help with all the things Jackson mentioned here, especially insomnia. I can’t count the number of times pot cured my insomnia in college. Sometimes i didn’t even have insomnia, I just wanted to relax before I went out, and I relaxed myself right into eating a full block of cheese and passing out.

I just want to say good on Paris for not taking this guy’s s**t, and I can understand why she would have an issue with pharmaceuticals like the ones her dad took to sleep that killed him. If Michael Jackson had smoked weed instead, he might be out there now, making music and paying off kids he touched inappropriately.

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4 years ago