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Bill Clinton Says He Slept with Intern Monica Lewinsky Because Being President is Hard

Guys, being president is really hard. It’s just like, a lot of work, you know? And as America chooses whether the next president will be the fiery populist who has fought for the downtrodden for fifty years, the guy with dementia or the other guy with dementia, former President Bill Clinton came out to explain that sometimes it’s just so overwhelming that you have to get one of your underlings who’s half your age to come and give you a blowjob in the Oval Office.

Hulu is airing a documentary about Hillary Clinton to try and squeeze a month’s worth of subscription fees out the people with “#stillwithher” in their social media bios in 2020, and The New York Post has some excerpts about the upcoming series today dealing with Bill’s fooling around.

The ex-president, in the upcoming Hulu series “Hillary” about his wife, likens working in the Oval Office to being a boxer “staggering” around after a 15-round prize fight that’s been extended to 30-rounds.

“And here’s something that’ll take your mind off it for a while,” Clinton, 73, says of his two-year tryst with Lewinsky that began in 1995 when she was 22.

“Everybody’s life has pressures and disappointments, terrors, fears of whatever,” he continues.

“Things I did to manage my anxieties for years.”

Yeah, somebody buy this guy a Juul to keep him from doing sex crimes. For f**k’s sake.

You can’t really blame Bill Clinton, though, Monica Lewinsky is way sexier than Hillary Clinton. You know which one you’d choose if someone put a gun to your head. And you know I’m being honest since Lewinsky’s whole thing now is convincing people to not be mean online, which basically makes us mortal enemies.

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