Ariel Winter Also Apparently Had Her Thumb Reduced After Accidentally Cutting it Off

Ariel Winter famous and unashamedly had breast reduction surgery a few years back, taking her bust down to a much more manageable “massive.”

That’s not the only thing she’s reduced, though, because it turns out that Winter has lost a good amount of thumb weight recently.

Here’s what Winter told Access, via Hollywood Life:

“I was trying to make Greek food, because I’m Greek,” Ariel began to explain. She decided to use one of her new knives for one of these cuisine experiments. After successfully chopping four onions, Ariel revealed, “And so I went to chop a peeled tomato and slice the top part of my thumb off on a peeled tomato.” You could read the irony of the situation on Ariel’s face.

I’m not sure what part of this story is ironic. If you’re going to cut off a finger, it’s likely going to be either in the kitchen or a woodworking shop. Not entirely sure how Nick Offerman still has all ten fingers, honestly.

Ariel did a good amount of damage. “I apparently sliced an artery, or something like that. And I bled so much and so we had to go to the hospital,” she went on. Being the loyal boyfriend he is, Luke “brought the tip of [Ariel’s] thumb to the hospital,” Ariel revealed. Now, here’s the best part of the story: Luke handed over the severed thumb to a nurse, who later returned it in a plastic bag (without clarifying what was inside that bag). So, they threw it away — thumb and all.

Why would a nurse just hand her a bag with a thumb in it? Why wouldn’t you look at that bag before you threw it out? I have many questions.

“It’s definitely very funny now,” Ariel later said, smiling. Rest assured, the thumb was retrieved and Ariel confirmed that she’s “fine,” even if she lost a “good portion” of one of her most important fingers and was “bleeding a lot.” Ariel just had to get a tetanus shot and avoid infecting the injured thumb!

Can we order this procedure for Megan Fox and her weird toe-thumbs? Because I’m clearly making this joke in 2008 when Mega Fox was relevant.

The only problem is I’m going to need to see the thumb. I think we all remember the time Fran Drescher went on The Tonight Show and told a story about slicing her hand open that absolutely never happened. Ariel’s story just seems a little out there.