Ryan Seacrest Nabs ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Gig, Getting Paid $1M Per Letter

A round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for Ryan Seacrest, the man who seems hell-bent on hosting every show in the Milky Way. He’s just bagged himself a $28 million gig on Wheel of Fortune. That’s right, $28 million! For those of you keeping score, that’s about a million bucks per letter of the alphabet. Maybe he’s just really into phonics. Or perhaps he’s into adding more millions to his fortune to splurge on blonde toys.

Meanwhile, Vanna White, still flipping letters for a mere $3 million a year. Chump change to Seacrest’s salary. The fans are up in arms. Tweets are flying. “Wrong choice. Not fair to @TheVannaWhite!” they say. It’s a veritable Twitter uprising. So bad that White’s lawyering up. C’mon Vanna, you can’t host AND turn the letters can you?

Fans also say Seacrest is taking all the Hollywood jobs. They’re not wrong. But how else did Seacrest get to be worth $450m? Not by being a sad sap reading gossip blogs.

They should rename the show to ‘Wheel of Seacrest’s Fortune’. Also, we really are watching the next Dick Clark transform in front of us.