Paris Hilton infects Canada

Is there anybody slimier than Paris Hilton? Tragically, there is. Jose Theodore, some douchebag hockey player, was spotted partying with Paris in Montreal. I know what you’re thinking: Who cares. Paris has seen more penises than even Richard Simmons.

What’s grand is that while this guy was busy hooking up with Paris, his prematurely born, three month old daughter was checking out of the hospital.

Look what Daddy brought home honey…chlyamdia! Here’s an idea, why don’t you just save yourself some trouble and buy her that stripper pole right now?

The Canadians must really hate us. In exchange for their hockey teams, we give them a disease-ridden petri dish known as Paris Hilton’s vagina. I’m suprised we still read about guys banging Paris. You figure they’d have a hard time getting through all the scabs.