Kevine Federline

I must be completely out of touch with America’s youth or someone is lying to me and I just want to say, there’s no way I’m out of touch. Just the other day I was chatting up these two young hotties and when I sang the Paris Hilton single to them, their mouths dropped in awe as if to say, “Wow, you sir, are hip”.

Britney Spears’ hubby has been earning extra cash by charging to show up at soirees; his fee for a cameo, according to In Touch Weekly, is a whopping $20,000.

This is a joke right? I wasn’t aware K-Fed had fans. Before we go any further, I just want to clarify that “fans” are what I have. They drive up to your house in the middle of the night and throw their panties through your window. “Fans”, however, are not people who turn their heads to each other and snicker when you walk by. Call me close minded, but I can only think of one reason to hire K-Fed for a party and it’s to laugh at him.