Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is angry over comments Elijah Blue Allman, Cher’s son, made about her on Howard Stern. He claims he had sex with both Paris and Nicole before they were famous and he had this to say about his Paris experience.

Allman, who is the lead singer and guitarist for the band Deadsy, said that after the encounter, he became so worried that he might have contracted a disease that he went downstairs and scrubbed his private parts with a household cleaner, probably Tilex.

Tilex would have worked back then. Nowadays Paris Hilton’s diseases are much more evolved. I hear they drink penicillin and are pretty well organized. The only way to stop them is to believe.

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