Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley

Avril Lavigne issued a half-assed apology on her website in regards to her inability to contain her bodily fluids.

In response to reports of Avril’s recent run in with paparazzi, she would like to say the following: “I’d like to sincerely apologize for my behavior with the Paparazzi. It’s trying at best dealing with their insistent intrusions. I meant no offense to my fans, whose relationship I truly value. I have and will always go out of my way for my fans. My behavior was a reaction to the persistent attack from the paparazzi.”

If you read that over, you’ll see Avril Lavigne says it’s the paparazzi’s fault that they got spit on. Kind of like the “she was asking for it” excuse rapists use. Yes, I’m equating Avril to a rapist as she’s already raped the eardrums of many during her years as a “singer”.

Regardless, the apology to her fans was endearing. They’ll be glad to know she’ll always go out of her way to scream “Fuck you” at them. If my mom has taught me anything at all, it’s that those two simple words can warm your heart like hot chocolate with marshmallows in the dead of winter.