Christina Aguilera

I decided to flip to the VMAs and I saw nothing. That’s the nicest thing I can say about it. Beyonce had the most souless expression I have ever seen from any performer. She looked like a trained elephant from the circus who knows it’s going to be balancing on a ball for the next 10 years. I’ll post any interesting pictures I find from the VMAs, but believe me when I say it was so disappointing that I wasn’t even planning on watching it and I was disappointed.

I was bored so here are a few pictures to start you off.

Beyonce KnowlesBeyonce KnowlesBeyonce KnowlesBeyonce Knowles

Her mouth forms a smile, but her eyes are still souless.

Justin TimberlakeJustin TimberlakeJustin TimberlakeJustin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake brings sexy back with his hands in his pocket.


Shakira is still small and still gyrating.

Amy LeeAmy LeeAmy LeeAmy Lee

Is goth still in? Amy Lee thinks so.

Jared LetoJared LetoJared Leto

What the hell is this? I’m getting frustrated.

Jessica SimpsonJessica SimpsonJessica SimpsonJessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson is now bronze and weird. I hope Papa Joe isn’t touching her ass because it belongs to me.

Paris HiltonParis HiltonParis HiltonParis Hilton

What did you expect? It’s Paris. Did you know the Toxic Avenger also wore something like this?

Petra NemcovaPetra NemcovaPetra NemcovaPetra Nemcova

James Blunt has done something to Petra Nemcova. I just can’t put my finger on it.

Vanessa MinnilloVanessa MinnilloVanessa MinnilloVanessa Minnillo

Vanessa Minnillo is very smily. You can tell she’s thinking about me.