Britney Spears

News of the World is reporting Kevin Federline has a four hour sex tape of him and Britney on their honeymoon and has already been offered £26 million which is around $50 million in US currency. If the deal goes through, the video will be released on the web for all Britney fans to see. The site is also claiming Britney filed for divorce after catching K-Fed in a hotel room with another woman.

People speculate Kevin is using this as leverage for a $30 million payout along with custody of their two children. Not sure exactly what he’s going to do with them, but if I had to guess, probably eat them after confusing his food stamps with actual food.

Federline, 28, has bragged to pals that his X-rated tape shows the Oops, I Did It Again singer performing a series of explicit sex acts.

The home-made video is believed to show the naked couple enjoying an uninhibited range of love-making and sexual games.It was made during the first weeks of their relationship two years ago when they were holed up in one of the exclusive bungalows at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles.

The source close to Federline said: “At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

“They did nothing all day but have sex and play the odd game of chess.

Very peculiar. A game of chess for these two would only end up in a shouting match over who sunk who’s battleship. That probably takes up 2 of the 4 hours. As far as the sex goes, the article says Britney is afraid, if released, she’ll become the next Paris Hilton.

Britney, it’s my turn to give you some advice. Take a look at all the news about yourself after you married K-Fed. Scan over your pictures and watch your videos. People think you’re a dumb tubby piece of trash. Now think back real hard to when you were in your prime and on your honeymoon. Fewer people despised you and not one thought you were a Cheeto chomping chain smoking fatty. What I’m saying is this tape can only help you. It’s like when alcoholics hit rock bottom. There’s nowhere to go but up.