Heather Mills

The “Dancing With the Stars” amputee wanted a gay guy as a partner to avoid any rumors of a romance. Instead, Heather Mills got Jonathan Roberts.

“Jonathan turned up and I said, ‘Well, he doesn’t look gay,’ and I said, ‘Are you gay?’ And he said, ‘No, I’m not, I’m married…’ He’s just a great person.”

I requested a lesbian once in a sex scene I was doing. Turned out she wasn’t a lesbian. When we started filming, it also turned out she wasn’t even a woman. That director is such a joker. I got him back by leaving a dead hooker in his bed. Now he’s serving a life sentence. The moral of the story is don’t play tricks on me or I will destroy you and all that you love. Also, hookers wriggle a lot.