Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton will be released from jail at 12:00 a.m. tomorrow a changed woman. Her first endeavor will be to build a “transitional home” to help women released from jail. Paris says,

Hilton says the home can be “a place to get food and clothes on their backs,” continuing that the recidivism rate is “a really bad cycle and if we stop it now, we can make our community a better place.”

Paris Hilton can’t do anything right so it’s a safe bet this place will end up sucking. The food will be saltine crackers and the clothes will either be from her closet or found rummaging through trash cans. That way, a woman straight out of jail has a 50% chance at looking like a tranny and a 50% chance at looking like a homeless person.

The picture above is of the side of Paris’ house tagged with the website that offers her storage locker stuff.