Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton’s dad, Rick, has asked Pure, the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and the Palms if they would host Paris Hilton’s “Get out of jail” party. Whoever agrees will pay Rick $50,000 and throw in accommodations and flights. Pure and Hard Rock are clearly out of their minds to have turned down the offer. The Palms, not so much.

“Pure and Hard Rock said ‘no’ flat out, but George Maloof, who owns the Palms, didn’t say yes or no. He’s very good pals with Paris and is the one who once hooked her up with Britney Spears.”

Pure and Hard Rock owners should think about this. They get to host a party for the born-again Paris Hilton and pay Rick Hilton $50,000, give him free rooms and a free plane ride. I’m no business major, but that sounds like a steal. They say there’s no such thing as a free meal. Well, this sounds like a free meal with free ice cream cake. Maybe Rick would like their left testicle too. It hangs a little lower than the right, but whose doesn’t? Even better. Rick can rape their unborn children. It’s the least they can do for bringing the seventh layer of hell to Vegas.