Charlie Sheen has stupid tattoos

Charlie Sheen is so in love with his fiancée Brooke Mueller that he has promised to laser off his 13 tattoos which she hates. Being a hard partier in his early years, Sheen doesn’t even remember when he got most of them done including a dragon with glasses, a stingray on his ankle (a symbol of a gang he formed with Nic Cage) and a wooden sign nailed to his chest which reads, “Back in 15 minutes.”

That one was originally meant to be an ashtray, he said, but went horribly wrong. Sheen can’t even remember the year he got it. One tattoo he’s already had lasered off is the “Denise,” for ex-wife Denise Richards, on his left wrist.

I’ve never pictured Charlie Sheen as a tattoo guy, but I guess I can picture him wandering into a tattoo parlor high, wanting some ridiculous ink like a starfish or that peanut butter, jelly time banana. The guy is kind of retarded. Probably because his mother stopped breastfeeding him too soon.