On Friday, David Letterman interviewed Paris Hilton; blasting Paris with questions about her 23 days in jail. Despite Paris’ pleas to change subject to her new fragrance, Can-Can, or movie, Repo! The Genetic Opera, the Late Show host persisted. After the interview, Paris reportedly broke down in tears and swore never to do the show again.

As Letterman continued to press, Hilton held up her hand: “I’m going on the next question. I’m over it.”

At one point a crowd member yelled, “I love you Paris!” which she answered by saying, “I love you too,” and blowing a kiss. Quipped Letterman, “Somebody you met in prison?” Hilton, blushing, shook her head no.

“There’s other stuff to talk about Dave,” Hilton said. “I didn’t come here to talk about this. That was a long time ago.”

Finally, after more than six minutes of grilling, Hilton said Letterman was making her “sad that I came here.” Trying to make amends, Letterman offered: “I’ll buy you a parakeet.”

I don’t want you to think I’m a heartless jerk because, while I may be laughing on the outside, I assure you, I’m crying on the inside. With laughter. This nincompoop was owned in every sense of the word. Hopefully, this will make her think twice about appearing on national television. Unless, she was on a show like Man vs Wild and no one told her how to survive and instead of dropping her off in remote locations, they dropped her off in bear caves or in the middle of a pack of hungry wolves or in hot magma. Note to producers: the last one would be the best.

David Letterman grills Paris Hilton on Jail Time [People]

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