Paris Hilton

Not to be outshone by Nicole Richie’s ongoing pregnancy, Paris Hilton has let it be known that she too wants to spawn. You see, Paris wants her baby to be bff with Nicole’s baby just like when they were little. That way a new generation of idiots may take their place when their older and no doubt wiser (65-years-old and at a 6th grade level, baby!).

“Nicole and I have been playing together since we were two years old,” she told PEOPLE at the Nissan Live Sets One Year Anniversary Party. “I was just telling her, ‘I want a baby so that our babies can play together.'”

Still, Hilton admits, she has a few things to take care of first — like finding a man! “I don’t have a boyfriend right now,” the Simple Life star insisted. “But I would love to start a family.”

Suck on that evolution. You think your archaic rules of natural selection applies to these two dolts? Think again douche bag. How does it feel to be outsmarted by two people who in the Stone Age would have been eaten by sabretooth tigers upon birth? Not good, huh? Would you say it’s like being punched in the liver? Don’t know what that feels like? Let me show you. BAM! That pain you feel is eerily familiar isn’t it?

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